Aspergirls and Gender/sexuality

I know I’m not alone as an Aspergirl in this. Last year I read about the idea that gender is a spectrum and not everyone fits into the categories of male/female, cis/trans. I thought, Yesss! Makes total sense to me. Biologically, I’m female and comfortable in my physical body, I wouldn’t change anything. But gender lies between the ears, not between the legs (not sure where that quote comes from, I didn’t invent it) and in my head, I’m about 75/25 female/male. When I’m around other women, I don’t feel much like them. They seem like another species. I feel more male than them. I know this is partly to do with having Aspergers and being gay. When I’m with men, or butch lesbians, I feel more female. My brain is quite male (logical, rational) but my interests are almost wholly stereotypically female, and I have absolutely no interest in sports, cars or DIY. I have supported feminist causes in the past, but now have a lot of disagreements with radical feminists. I’m at my most comfortable, I have discovered recently, around trans people – they are often in-between genders and amazingly, up to 40% of trans people are autistic too. I want to meet more of them! My dress sense is androgynous, I feel most comfy in shirt, jeans and brogues but sometimes with a small feminine touch: a necklace, a lacy collar. I love to dress up when I’m playing a character in the musical theatre company I’m involved in: I’ll wear the most feminine of frocks and heels and get a massive buzz, because I’m being someone else and can leave the real me behind.
Sexuality: I came out as gay at 26, after believing I was bi since the age of 12 when I first learnt what the word meant. Gay people of both sexes fascinated me throughout my teens, but it took sleeping with men to realize that wasn’t right for me. The physical side was a massive turn-off. I can enjoy the company of men, but women, well some women, drive me wild and set everything off in me. I wouldn’t have it any other way, I’m gay and proud. Coming out for me wasn’t hard, everyone was supportive and many said they guessed anyway. I hope the same can be said for coming out as Aspergers, as I gradually will be doing. Recently I contributed to an article in a lesbian magazine about autism: “Living life on two spectrums.” Very proud of that! “I am what I am, I am my own special creation.””Here am I, I shouldn’t have to hide, with one word defined, boy or girl my destiny.”

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